Date Food

The ritual is an ancient one. A couple are taking their first faltering steps into a relationship. The first date has been successfully negotiated and subsequent encounters have not served to put either party in need of a restraining order. Things could be said to be going well.

Now comes a big hurdle. The first in a long line of firsts but with the potential of going catastrophically wrong. It is of course, the first meal out together.

The question is; where to go? Naturally you want to appear to be sophisticated with exquisite and refined taste so anywhere that serves food in a bucket (or disposable containers generally) is out. You may not be sure if your partner is particularly into food so that will probably knock out high-end multi-Michelin starred places too (and obviously, you're still at the stage where you want most of your attention to be focused on your date not your plate). Finally there's the rather awkward fiscal concern. Men especially feel an implicit social pressure to stump up for the whole shooting match so you want to avoid anywhere too outrageously expensive.

Obviously the gold standard is to have a "great little place" where the food is good, the price is reasonable and you know the staff well enough to be guaranteed a decent table or a couple of free drinks on the quiet. But what if you have just moved somewhere new or are consciously meeting on neutral territory. There's only so many "great little places" you can cultivate. Even then, your date might not like the style of food offered by them.

Perversely I think the answer is to go big. Find a national chain that does food that is good enough to be satisfying without being distracting. Chances are, you will have a more expansive menu too so your other half's tastes and dietary requirements are catered for. A wider variety of drinks might also be available, neatly circumventing the red/white debate or accusations of nefarious intent when you order a bottle rather than a glass. Cafe Rouge, Pizza Express and All Bar One are personal favourites of mine. All are reasonably sophisticated with reasonable prices, good food and not too much chance of kids/hen dos.

Once you've picked a restaurant there's always a bit of a conundrum about what to eat. Ribs, for example, cannot possibly be eaten elegantly, nor can a burger and anyone eating a pizza with a knife and fork looks like a total muppet. Plus, asking for your steak so rare that a vet could resuscitate it could well shock your other half's sensibilities. So play it safe. Avoid garlic (just in case there's the offer of more than one "dessert"), too much spice, anything too ostentatious and finger food. The latter has limited exceptions for things like tapas. In these cases, the tactile element can be quite fun. Also, be wary of tomato sauces, especially with strands of pasta. Splattering your own kit with little dots of red is bad enough but can you imagine doing it to your partner too? It would completely ruin your chances.

Finally is the thorny issue of payment. If you're not prepared to stump up fully, don't offer. Similarly, if the other party insists on splitting the bill; accept gracefully. What about vouchers? In these constrained financial times, I doubt I'm alone in thinking that it is acceptable to use them. You could always discreetly excuse yourself and settle up with them when out of earshot. Either that or use a trip to the loo as opportune cover. Either way, they don't need to be any the wiser and you don't have to reveal your tactics unless they really are insisting on splitting the bill at which point keeping in the dark starts to become morally dubious..

So there we have it. My guide to the potentially fraught world of going out to eat on dates. I'm interested to hear of any other favourite standby places people have.

TFB