Sorry I haven't written in a while. I have been fairly busy, not least researching some posts for here. Today however I wanted to have a closer look at a subject that came up during a dinner party last night; namely what to do if presented with something you actively dislike at a social function?
This train of thought was sparked by going round the table recalling times when they had to force down a dish they didn't like "to be polite". Those of you that know me well won't be surprised to hear that, when my turn came, I said rather bluntly that I just wouldn't eat it. For those of you that don't know me, I have always had a bit of a reputation for 'knowing my own mind' as my school reports euphemistically put it. In short, I'm stubborn and have no problem standing out as different if it suits me!
Let's start with the arguments for forcing something down. The logic I was faced with fundamentally made sense: your host has gone to no small effort and expense to provide food. It would be rude to reject it.
Fundamentally I would agree with this. I would like to add that surely the point is not that your host has put effort into the preparation but is in fact that your host has made a meal with the intention that you enjoy it. Certainly I have yet to encounter someone that prepares food for others that doesn't want to give pleasure. Therefore pretending to like something to spare feelings is disingenuous and a waste of everybody's time.
It is also worth noting that, by pretending to like something, you are in essence lying to your host. Put in this context which it more rude; lying to somebody or being honest and saying you don't like something? I would suggest it's the deception. From a personal point of view, I would far prefer someone told me they didn't like something that I made rather than pretending to like it. Then again, perhaps I'm spoiled. Anybody that is likely to cook for me is close enough as a friend that they wouldn't take blunt honesty to heart and equally, I'm confident they would be as brutal with me. And as for strangers, well I don't want to offend them for sport but better that than enduring a meal I don't like.
Perhaps my view is informed by someone close to me (who shall remain nameless for their own protection). On being presented with a dish they made all the appropriate noises of gratitude and praise. Unfortunately the meal quickly became an ordeal rather than a pleasure. Buoyed by it's reception, the host then proceeded to make the same dish every time the protagonist came to visit. You see what I mean? A viscous circle develops where nobody really benefits.
It's fair to say that social interaction is fuelled by minor lies: "I like your haircut", "Holiday snaps. Wonderful" and "Let's go see the latest Rom Com" are ones that spring quickly to mind. I would however suggest that eating an unpleasant meal is so much of an ordeal that an exemption should be granted for food. Plus, in these days of intolerances and dietary fads, it is becoming far more socially acceptable to decline dishes or/parts of dishes, so why not use this to your advantage?
Those are my thoughts. I don't think they're too unreasonable.
TFB
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