It was the third anniversary of my girlfriend and I getting together and what better way to for two budding foodies to celebrate a special occasion than by going out for a meal? More in hope than in faith we applied (yes applied) for table reservations at the Waterside Inn. The other three Michelin starred restaurant in Bray.
Much to our surprise, our application was successful so on the day of our anniversary we packed into the car and headed off to Bray. When we got there, we encountered the first issue of the night. Valet parking. In front of us was a fleet of Audis, behind a queue of Range Rovers. We however were in a Corsa. A pink Corsa. Needless to say, we felt a wee bit out of place. The parking attendant did however have the good grace to keep a straight face... just!
We got in and were greeted in hushed, deferential tones although it was not immediately clear whether these were directed at us or the institution. In the waiting room we were presented with menus, canapés and a drink.
Fairly quickly I decided that the tasting menu was the order of the day. So far so good. Unfortunately, when I highlighted my egg allergy, things started to go a bit wrong. I thought that, as dishes with eggs were highlighted on the menu, the kitchen would be well versed in mitigating their use. Apparently not. The waiter seemed rather flummoxed and unsettled by my revelation. Ultimately this resulted in me getting most of the dishes but some were missing elements. This I could cope with but where I felt really let down were the dessert courses. My first was substituted with a cheese board which wasn't entirely bad news. The second was substituted with a plate of fruit. This was more suitable to places where Michelins are fitted rather than awarded. Given Roux is a noted pastry chef amongst his other talents, I expected better. I was similarly let down by the petit fours with coffee. Four rather bland fruit jellies were hardly a substitute and left me feeling distinctly fobbed off.
What didn't help was a bit of a language barrier. Having a degree in Biology along with living with food allergies for 27 years means I have come to understand allergies rather well. If I hear how eggs feature in a dish, I usually have a fairly good idea how I will react to them (as well as having a decent chance of explaining why). Unfortunately the waiter and I couldn't find a common language for me to say this so in the end, I gave up.
So beyond that, how was the rest of the food? If I were to sum it up in one sentence it would be: nice but uninspiring. My lobster starter was delicious but spoiled by the heap of green stuff that looked like it had come straight out of a supermarket salad bag and gave the dish the feel of being served in a greasy-spoon "caff" rather than a world renowned restaurant. Next was a very tasty chestnut and champagne veloute with a lovely mouth-feel and mine was served without the foie gras. However it was a bit on the heavy side for something so early in the meal. Next up was an halibut which was beautifully cooked and had a wonderful texture. Finally was the duck which was a bit of an highlight. Beautifully flavoured and succulently tender, it was extremely satisfying. There was a decent amount of duck on the plate too.
So why uninspiring? Each of the dishes were well presented and tasty but none of them were truly mind-blowing. To my mind that's what one should be getting in a three star restaurant. The heavy use of ingredients like foie gras, caviar and truffle gave the meal and air of decadence but also the impression of "posh food by numbers". Nothing was enormously surprising nor terribly exciting. The general sense of disaffection was brought to a head by the prices. Nobody expects a three star restaurant to be cheap but the prices we were charged were verging on the piss-taking. Fifty quid for a main course. Really? We both agreed that for the sort of money we paid we were expecting a meal that we would be talking about for years to come. We were prepared to pay lots but what we did pay, didn't represent value.
Unfortunately the service didn't do a lot to counteract our general dissatisfaction. The restaurant was very well staffed but this lead to lots of people milling about trying to look busy. This in turn created a bustling atmosphere which was extremely unsettling. There was also lots of duplication of tasks. I got asked about my wine three times by three separate people before I had even had a chance to taste it (and anybody that knows me will know that it doesn't take me long to get stuck into a drink). This was after the sommelier looked slightly perplexed when I asked for his recommendations for wine to go with my meal. Throughout the meal we were interrogated as to the food often mid-mouthful or half way through a sentence making it extremely difficult either to enjoy the meal or relax and enjoy each other's company.
I did like the bread basket though. It was made out of beautifully baked and glazed dough.
In conclusion, I really can't recommend going here unless you desperately want to go to a three star restaurant that's not in London and you don't like the idea of the Fat duck While the food is certainly delicious, it does not justify the price charged. Meals of similar quality can be obtained elsewhere for a more reasonable price. Other venues also have far more personality and soul rather than a rather stiff routine that felt in hindsight like a bit of a gastronomic conveyor belt.
TFB
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